By valuing, accepting and loving yourself more than things, you are an agent of change – shifting the paradigm on our planet to one of love, including the gift of self love. Holidays can be busy and full of unexpected events. I just experienced a good part of my week that has been filled with the most unexpected events I could have imagined.
We had a beautiful early winter snowstorm, a week ago Friday that lasted only through the night, but it brought nearly a foot of snow! I was delighted there were no power outages. However, what was unusual was how cold the weather had turned–the coldest I remember since moving here full time 10 years ago! The streets through Nevada City and Grass Valley were so icy that events were getting cancelled – including school for two days. I was surprised when I went to get a glass of water Sunday night and there were only funny gurgling sounds from the faucet, no water. But the water was back on Monday and then off again. It turns out there was a pipe that froze and broke. Thank goodness a faithful builder/handyman friend stopped by. He showed up both Monday and Tuesday nights to help. Tuesday we cleared up the water. Luckily it wasn’t in any of the living spaces.
Then early Wednesday morning I received an unexpected message that a beloved girlfriend of my heart was at the end of the road of her life. I was invited to go and say goodbye. I drove to her home in Truckee to express my love.
That night I felt wiped out physically and emotionally. I was sad and grieving. I was home and alone and knew it was time for self-love. I blocked out time to have some nurturing time for myself. I made a fire and lit a candle. I lay down on the carpet next to the fire. I placed one hand on my heart, the other on my belly, gently massaging my heart and telling myself loving things. I stroked my hair. It felt so silky. I never touch it except to shampoo it in the shower, and it had the softest most wonderful feeling.
The following night I brought a candle, my favorite soothing music and full moon water from last month and sat outside in the hot tub under the nearly full and very bright moon. Then I went to bed early with a book.
Holidays can be stressful even without weather storms and the passing of dear friends, especially since our Western culture has taught us to value things more than people. By valuing our life and loving ourselves we don’t need the things that we were taught would bring happiness. We ultimately find they are often shallow and empty and do not hold love. About 12 years ago, my son, a junior in high school at the time, asked if we could quit doing the whole gift exchange thing as it was so stressful and the thing he most disliked about the holidays. To this day I have his young wisdom to thank for how we did the holidays.
By valuing, accepting and loving yourself more than things, you are an agent of change – shifting the paradigm on our planet to one of love.
What can you do this year to create a holiday season that gives you self-love and self-nurturing? Getting conscious is a good first step. Making lists help. What do you love most about the holidays (such as being with people who make your heart smile)? What are the things you most detest? (Like going to places your heart doesn’t call, even though others have expectations.) Journal about what you love and what stresses you out and what you don’t enjoy.
Self-love is vitally important! The outer world is a reflection of your inner world–your inner state of being. As you develop self-love, love reflects back to you. You create love and peace on the earth by truly being able to fully love yourself. Accepting yourself for exactly how you are in this moment is also a great gift of love.
Love and accept yourself now exactly as you are, with all of what you would call your shortcomings. Love your looks, your weight, and your temperament. Fully love every aspect of yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I deeply love, accept and respect myself for exactly how and who I am in this moment.” Tell yourself you appreciate yourself, and list the ways you are grateful for who you are.
Forgive yourself for all those times you are hard on yourself, critical, judgmental, non-accepting, harsh or punishing. The Ho’oponopono method of forgiveness, which I often talk about, is very simple and very powerful. Simply say, “I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.” I like to do it slowly with my hand on my heart.
And finally, what can you say No to this holiday season that does not make your heart sing and soar? What party or event, or how about the way you have always done something, but no longer serves your highest good? Say no. And say yes to what makes your heart sing and soar with joy.
I hope you enjoy the poem I have included by Charlie Chaplin on Self-Love. I was so deeply moved that he wrote this on his 70th birthday back in the 50’s! That was not the kind of message I received in my environment growing up. What wisdom he had!
The song is one you might want to play over and over to yourself to remind you of how beautiful and amazing you truly are! The guided meditation I have created for you is one to easily guide you into your heart and self-love and self-acceptance. This is my holiday gift for you.
Happy holidays and thank you for the Spark of Light you bring to our planet – like a Lighthouse showing the way for Others as we traverse in this dark time.
With love and light, Kathleen
Self-Love and Self Acceptance Meditation
“The Story of Stuff” Watch HERE (approx 20 min Youtube video- worth watching!)