As I write this, it is November 28 2012, and the full moon lunar eclipse has just finished!
Eclipses are a time of change and transformation.
Solar eclipses come on the new moon, and they represent a time for new beginnings.
Lunar eclipses are about endings.
I am taking the present opportunity of the lunar eclipse energies to look at what endings in my life are calling now. What am I ready to let go of? I have made a commitment to be in stillness for this past week and going forward through the holidays. To do less. To be still. To listen inside. To rest and nurture myself. As all speeds up on the outside at this time of year, I am going to the center where, even in a tornado, this stillness resides!
Actually a lot is taking place in that stillness, maybe because I am able to really listen.
Whatever you resist you become.
If you resist anger, you are always angry.
If you resist sadness, you are always sad.
If you resist suffering, you are always suffering.
If you resist confusion, you are always confused.
We think that we resist certain states because
They are there, but actually
They are there because we resist them.
The endings I am calling into my life: business, confusion, endless distractions and resistance to my deepest essence which is love. We are all love.
I remember being in the 4th grade staring out the window and having this thought, “If you could distill everything in the entire universe down to one thing, one word, what would it be?” And then I heard the answer, “LOVE”.
Since the lunar eclipse two weeks ago, I have noticed profound changes occurring in my life. Last week I witnessed several different intense emotions and thoughts that were in my mind. I felt angry. But that lasted about 5 minutes. Then I felt this deep inner frustration for wanting something so badly, but not knowing what it was I wanted, which lead to the feeling I would never have it. The image of a two-year-old self having a mini-tantrum just inside of herself and not knowing why. Then it suddenly passed. The next thing I knew I was painting and just experiencing this immense joy that continued throughout the day. I had this thought, “Wow, it used to be if I woke up bothered by something, it could work me all day. Now things are just passing through me so quickly like clouds in a sky.”
Last night I had one of those major triggers–the really big ones that are connected to a core wound and usually come up for me every several years. It involved one of my dearest friends. I immediately went into feeling unseen, unheard, not valued and betrayed. I created a big story around this. How could I even think this was my “dear friend” when she could do this??? Then after about 10 minutes I went outside to the hot tub under the full moon. I was nearly laughing because EVERYTHING was gone. All of my emotion and story around the event. Maybe she had been unconscious for a moment. Maybe things were totally different than it appeared on the surface. But I was happy and in immense joy and feeling complete love for my friend and for myself. What happened couldn’t stick to me, there was nowhere for it to land, to hold on to. This was immense because it was a core wound around not being wanted or loved, and it was all just gone. Vanished! I felt absolute liberation. My joy or my love wasn’t attached to anything on the outside world. It lived in me!! What freedom!
Here we stand on the brink of a new world predicted by the Mayans and many other indigenous and ancient cultures to commence at Winter Solstice of 2012. The creation of a world of love, unity, and connection! So at this time of endings, it is a good time to individually look at what we are ready to let go of and come to an end!
All endings lead to new beginnings!
As a collective, what are we ready to bring to an end? What old beliefs? What are some of the things we have been taught in our culture that aren’t true, but we haven’t examined them yet?
Something I would like to explore now is how we do the holidays. Gifts and parties and over-doing it.
First of all, let yourself feel into the quiet space within you. Check into the holidays. How does it make you feel?
Does it make your body feel relaxed, joyful and expectant, or do you feel dread, fear and anxiety? That is great indicator. So if you are feeling joy all over, you are probably doing everything just right. Keep following that path of joy!
However if you are feeling dread or anxiety, what is it time to change? What is it time to let go of, to end? Is this the time of the year that you really enjoy being with extended family, or does it feel like a sense of duty and dread? What are the events you can say “no” to this year? You can start with just one. Gifts. Do you enjoy all the shopping and wrapping and the whole long list? Is this what the sacred holidays mean to you? Or is it about connecting with those you most love, and sharing time and closeness together? Get clear on what brings you joy and peace. The joy and peace we have inside will be reflected into our outer world.
When my son was in high school, he asked to have a family meeting. The subject was Christmas presents. He said he loved Christmas and Christmas dinner, but hated the whole present thing. It created such stress for him. He felt like we had so much, why were we even giving presents to each other? Giving the just-right gift was always important to him and never took it lightly. But he preferred to do that for birthdays or when he felt called to give. He shared that what he loved most about the holidays was connecting and having a good conversation around a nice meal. We started right then to reach out to a family that could really use the help and give them the money we would have spent on our family. I will never forget the beautiful thank you letter from a mother that had adopted many handicapped children and the difference our sharing had made in their lives. That was a decade ago. We still don’t give gifts to each other. In fact, I don’t give Christmas gifts. I even stopped doing my annual Christmas cards. Now I send heartfelt cards that I make at Thanksgiving or Valentines.
I think it is important to examine our unexamined assumptions about how things are done. Our culture equates giving things with love. We have been given the cultural messages that we are good citizens by spending and consuming. Who does this serve? A real eye-opening video is done by Annie Leonard and is called, “The Story of Stuff”. An ultra-conservative TV station named her as an enemy of the country for not supporting consumerism!! Watch the Video Here!
It is important to look at our beliefs around spending and gift-giving. What do we consciously choose?!
What about giving yourself a gift this year? Can you say “no” to one party, dinner or event or something you don’t want to do? Give yourself the gift of soaking in a bubble bath instead or going to the movies by yourself seeing something that calls to your heart!
What if you DO want to give gifts, but want them to be heartfelt and meaningful? Here is a gift guide that comes from my heart. These gifts are empowering and supportive for these times we are living in. These are gifts that can be given from your heart at any time that feels like that just right moment for you!
You can find my gift guide here:
Make your Holiday Gift Giving in 2012 Meaningful and Enlightening: Read Here….