I got home last night at 7:45 after having been gone the entire day.  Last stop of the day had been the hairdressers.  Once I walked into my house I felt absolutely exhausted.  My mind was fried.  I still had so much to do in preparation for the journey I am leading to Peru, but it took all my effort to even answer an email.  I did what was most important then sat down with a book I am reading as I prepare for this Peruvian journey.  It is a mystical true story called the Eagle and the Condor by Jonette Crowley.

At the beginning of her mystical adventures she sees a bear footprint but overrides what she sees telling herself it is something else.  Continuing on her hike she eventually runs into the owner of the footprint.  A huge bear, standing upright facing her!  The book continues with the sacred travels she embarks on to places like Australia and the Himalayas and then to Peru!.

I stumbled into bed.  I have been sleeping outside in my screened in porch this summer.  This is a new adventure for me.  Being in the fresh air, waking up to the songs of the birds and lately to the squirrels who are very busy preparing for winter.  Their favorite tree seems to be the one next to where I am sleeping.  I hear the continual dropping of discarded pinecones on the metal roof overhead.  I love watching the two baby squirrels who are masters at playing.  They chase each other in circles around tree trunks and limbs for hours.

I went to bed exhausted and I am a very deep sleeper.  I have slept through earthquakes and all sorts of loud things.  The only thing that could wake me up while sleeping was when my son was a baby.  Selective hearing I guess.

Last night in the middle of the night I woke up suddenly to the sound of heavy footsteps and claws scraping on the wooden steps of the deck outside of where I am sleeping.  There was also a very loud growling going on.  I jumped up and faced the noise, yelling in my fiercest voice “you are not allowed here now, GO!”  But the growling didn’t stop.  It was now just outside of where I was sleeping next to my head.  My one concern about sleeping in the screened in porch is that it has two doors that both open inwards from the outside.  I once had a bear cub walk in but couldn’t get out.  He was trapped.  Luckily he was a smart little fellow and didn’t panic.  Studied the situation and lifted off the one small screen that was removal.  Didn’t break anything and climbed through the opening.

But what if a wild animal got in while I was sleeping and got trapped with me, a human in there!

I decided to go into the house and sleep in the little room adjacent to the screened in porch.  My window was wide open.  I fell back to sleep with the rhythmic growls of the bear under my window.

When I was two years old we were staying at Yellowstone in a cabin.  My dad looked out the window and there I was on the front porch frolicking with a bear cub.  My father saw this the same moment Mama Bear did. He yanked me into the safety of the cabin as she charged towards us.

Years later I did shamanic journeying, going into altered realities through the beat of a drum. It would always be bear that would show up to guide me and be with me on these journeys.  Bear and eagle are my totems.

Several years ago with an Achuar shaman in the rainforests of Ecuador I fell to sleep having a lucid dream of being the Eagle flying with the Condor.

Looking back on last night I am in reverence and filled with deep gratitude and appreciation to the bear who showed up.  Thank you bear for coming to give me such a beautiful and powerful send off for this profound journey to Peru tomorrow!